Gain and Pain

Ten pounds...I've gained ten pounds.  I was telling my friend yesterday that it really freaks me out because I know how easily 10 can turn back into 35.  I'll chalk 5 pounds up to vacation and another 5 to sticking to my vacation eating habits.  I think I really need to quit coffee again.  I load it up with cream and sugar and who knows how many empty calories.  That means at least a week of caffiene headaches...yay.

Happy Summer!

What is it with grief that either makes you under eat or over eat?  I had to put my sweet dog to sleep last week and I felt like I was on a roller coaster of not only emotion, but food.  I felt like I barely ate for 2 days, then gorged myself.  I think the only good sign now is that I know food really doesn't make me feel any better.  The more I ate, the worse I felt about myself.  Add that to being a sobbing mess for 3 days...doesn't make for great self image.  It was *ruff.*

On a more positive note, I traded in some books and movies to Hastings.  It's a multi-media store that will buy your stuff off of you.  With my store credit (they will also give you cash but I figured I'd spend it there anyways) I bought a AM/PM Yoga DVD and an Ab workout DVD.  That's right...expect washboards in 6-8 weeks.  I've done the PM yoga part and it was very relaxing, although some of the positions were a bit difficult due to the stiffness in my ankle.  No worries, I just made it my own and pretended like I knew what I was doing.  When I feel like it, I'll tackle the AM and the washboards.

In the mean time, Danny and I are swimming.  Now when I say we're swimming, I mean that I fill up the baby pool, stick my feet in and watch him do laps.  The temperature is finally rising and I have a feeling we will be making much more of an effort to jump into Nana and Grandpa's big pool.  Speaking of being outside in this gorgeous June heat...you should totally watch Dear 16 Year Old Me...  I know about sun damage and skin cancer, but this really drove it home.  I literally got done watching this and ordered Hawaiian Tropic Firming Island Moisturizer.  It's a sunless tanner (and bonus, firming lotion if that even works.)  I slap some beloved SPF on over it and I'm good to go!  I've been using it for about 2 weeks, specifically on my legs and have noticed a nice tint.  Nothing drastic, orange, or equator-y but just a nice soft color.  The firming end of things?  I'll let you know if my thighs ever quit jiggling.

Weight wise, I'm maintaining, which is all I really care to do at the moment.  I'm fine with my numbers sort of , but I need some serious tone!  I think I saw a bingo arm trying to set up residence next to Mr. Trapezius!

Walls...

People talk about hitting a wall when it comes to running, writing, daily tasks, weight loss or patience.  In my life, these walls have names.
The first wall is called Ankle Surgery...
This wall is annoying, frustrating, necessary, and about to be broken down.  I only have about 2 more weeks of limited activity before I can get back to doing crazy things like walking and stairs.
Initially after surgery, I lost weight due to several factors.  I was in too much pain to get up for anything more than a bathroom break, so that eliminated my knack for snacking.  I was also too nauseated to keep much down.  After the first couple of weeks, things slowly got back to normal and I got back to snacking.  So what was an initial loss of 10lbs has still resulted in a loss, but now I'm only down 5lbs, which is fine with me because I lost it for the wrong reasons anyways!

In Niobrara for Mother's Day
I like to refer to it as "Das Boot"

***
If you're curious here are the multiple procedures that I went through to get myself stable.
Evans Procedure
Brostrom Surgery
Calcaneal Osteotomy
None of these are fun to go through, but neither was the pain I was in sometimes daily.
***
My other wall is named THE LAST 15!
These last 15 lbs have weighed on me (PUN INTENDED) for far too long.  The longer my weight stagnates, the farther and father that goal of 155-160 feels.  I get comfortable with my fat and let it sit there while I sit there.  Being laid up these past few weeks have made me more motivated to kick things into high gear once I'm medically cleared.

Another wall that we struggle with as a family is called Someday
Someday...
We'll add on to the house
We'll do major renovations
We'll have time to relax
We'll have more space
We'll travel more
It's so fun to dream, but we keep catching ourselves in the future and not enjoying the here and now.  Sometimes I need to pull myself back here when I was just 20 years in the future.  Time is flying and 20 years is going to be here in a flash.  In the meantime, I want to focus on taking care of my body so that in 20 years I can still do all the things I'm dreaming about today!

***Congratulatory shout out to my dear friend who is kicking butt at weight loss!  She ran the Lincoln 1/2 marathon earlier this month!  Check out Amber's Story!

Dear February,
    Thanks for the artic blast that nearly drove me insane with intense bitter hate for this midwestern climate.  Then you did something that totally redeemed yourself.  Today it is a beautiful 64 degrees.  You knew I needed this little warm spell to get me motivated for Spring and more importantly, Summer!  I know you have plans to drop back down into the 30s, but you're entitiled...you are Mr. February after all. 
With love (and hate),
Annie

I am so sick of the Y.  Ryan is too.  We were talking about how waaay back in november, how excited we were for join and have a facility to work out, but it wears off.  Now we want to be back outside and if all this ice melts, it looks like thats a good possibility.  Time to change things up! 

Chugging along!

     Welcome to my first and last post for January 2011.  Things are going pretty well, considering how much we have going on.  The only things is that we went on vacation on Jan 13th and I have not been back to the Y since.   Yeesh, I know!  Over 2 fulls weeks of sleeping in (as much as a 2 year old will allow) and I'm finding it so hard to get back into my groove.  I'm going tomorrow and I'm going to weigh myself.
     Also I'm doing SlimFast again, and I figured if all I did this last summer was SlimFast and I lost 10 lbs, then what could I lose if I actually coupled it with good diet and exercise?  I know what you're thinking, "Thats crazy person talk!  You can't diet and exercise!!!"  Oh yes I can, and I am going to.
     Waaaay back in December (or November), I got back on the coffee.  I can't kick it for the life of me!  I'm even going so far as to making decaf in the afternoon.  I think its because I feel so cold all the time (fat kept me warm!) So now I constantly find myself drinking coffee, hot chocolate, hot chai, tea, whatever! I can get my hands on to warm my bones.  That's also now a running joke in our family.  I told my husband and my mom that I'm cold all the time now because I'm so super skinny.  Just being obnoxious, but now that's kind of a thing we'll say if one of us is cold.  Lame and true, but a fun inside joke.  I had a client once who had gastric bypass and lost something over 100 lbs and she was telling me how she used to sweat constantly and now she could never get warm and her feet hurt.  I thought that was really interesting, because now I can relate to the being cold thing, but I never thought about the feet.  We have fat pads on the soles of our feet, isn't it funny to think that if you lose enough weight, your feet will get skinnier?  But in losing that padding, she began to have foot pain.  Just an interesting tidbit!
     I'm weighing in tomorrow and I'm expecting a huge gain, but we shall see!

On my way to another great year!

Even though I didn't come close to achieving my goal in the timeline I initially set out in my first blog entry, I'm still very happy with my accomplishments this year.  We've pushed some (baby) plans back so that I've got more time to get to my ideal weight, but it's all for the best.  2010 was so good to me!  We celebrated 3 years of wedded bliss, our son's 2nd birthday, vacations, family bonding, and lots of love!  These last 15 pounds are tricky, but I've got a new plan of attack for 2011.  Wish me luck!  

Enjoy a few before and after pics from last Christmas to this one! 

How I'm handling the Holidays...

I love love love this time of year.  Not for the crappy weather, not for the gifts, not even for the liquor laced eggnog....no, I love it for the food.

     Nothing says "Happy Birthday Jesus!" like gorging yourself with the people you love.  This Christmas marks one full year since I knew it was time to take off my baby weight.  You can see the picture that got me motivated from last Christmas here.    So here we are again Christmas, I've been waiting for you so you can see the new me.  I am not to my initial goal weight, but I am down to pre-baby weight.  I'm actually down to my high school weight, but I gained 20 lbs senior year so I don't really think it counts.  I know that Christmas is waaaay more important than some weight loss, but the way I see it, I've just added who knows how much more time to my life to praise Jesus.
     My baby brother-in-law graduated from college this past week.  We drove up for it (despite a blizzard!) and ate wonderful food, stayed in a hotel, swam, talked, and had a blast.  It was such a great reason for us to all get together and I know my husband could not have been more proud of his little brother.  My mom sent along a pack of Joe-Joe's.  These are Trader Joe's version of an Oreo, filled with bits of candy cane.  I'm pretty sure I ate 3/4 of the box.  So that was obviously a mistake.
     Right before we left for the graduation, my mama, son and I had gone to visit relatives in Kentucky for about  a week.  I really was mildly impressed with myself.  We ate in a lot and cooked for my beloved 92 year old relatives.  I can't even pick out something that was totally outrageous that I may have eaten or gorged on.  The only thing that comes to mind is that on the 13-16 hours we were on the road (one way) I would buy RockStar Energy Drinks at some of our stops...

Now take everything on that label and times it by two, since there are two servings in every can.  I'm not a big label person, but even I know this is just too much of everything to be in something I'm drinking.  I also may or may not have had 2 or 3 Dunkin Doughnuts and some sugar with coffee and cream at a gas station at 5:30am on our drive home.

Despite all this, I weighed myself when I was at the Y yesterday morning and I'm only up something like a pound and a half.  I did crunches every night when we were in Kentucky and it felt so good to get back into the gym yesterday.  I got into such a groove running, I went past my usual one mile before I looked down to realize I was almost to a mile and a half.

Things are going well and maybe by Christmas 2011 I'll be to my goal weight...hopefully sooner though!!!